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Post by Deleted on Apr 20, 2022 13:40:42 GMT
LOL 5.0 on IMDB and it's falling all the time. It has a worse rating than Warriors of the Deep  And Timelash. And Time of the Rani, for that matter. It has a 4.9 now which means that it worse than EVERY classic episode on the site  |
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Post by UncleDeadly on Apr 20, 2022 17:21:30 GMT
LOL 5.0 on IMDB and it's falling all the time. It has a worse rating than Warriors of the Deep Just browsed through the site- I've encountered about thirty 1 star reviews thus far, with the most optimistic reviews consisting of one 6/10 and one 8/10 respectively. There were people with remaining optimism? After watching that...? |
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Post by UncleDeadly on Apr 20, 2022 17:25:12 GMT
Reminds me of the blurb on the back of the Christmas Invasion/New Earth DVD. Daily Mirror: "Potentially the most charismatic Doctor ever...!"
What, precisely, is potential charisma...?
Pretty sure Tom Baker didn't need it...
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Post by Bernard Marx on Apr 20, 2022 19:36:11 GMT
Sound like your better off watching Warriors of the Deep. I haven't watched it, but I bet it makes even Warriors of the Deep look like a stone cold Classic by comparison. I sat through it last night out of morbid curiosity (Why did I do that even after saying I wouldn't? I'm such a gullible twat), and suffice to say, it does. F.uck me, that was awful. I don't think I've seen a more incompetently put together episode of Doctor Who before. I've certainly seen episodes which were more insulting to the lore, but in terms of unmitigated ineptitude, and given the time and budget, this probably takes the cake. As stated by Zarius already, the direction, editing, pacing, music, sound design- everything on a technical level- is abhorrent. It's practically impossible to make out what actually occurs on a narrative basis given the sheer noise and incoherence, which is frankly staggering for what should be an extremely simple story. The opening sequence seemed to feature Chibnall attempting to tepidly mimic Kurosawa and Japanese Samurai cinema (unless I misread it visually, given how scattered the shots were), which only identifies that he apparently can't distinguish between Pirates and Samurai. The dialogue from the regulars is about as crap as it's ever been, which when accompanied by a truly embarrassing sequence towards the end whereby the Doctor confirms her "affections" for Yaz (with both characters looking distinctly disinterested) results in a headache inducing experience. Not a single performer in this gives a f.uck. It's gurning and colloquial puns galore. The Sea Devils are suddenly Jedi too, and at no point is this ever explored or explained. They have lightsabers, and can seemingly use the force whilst jumping to propel them across long-distances, yet none of this is integrated seamlessly into the narrative. It's vapid window-dressing with no purpose whatsoever- a textbook example of intended style over substance, albeit where even the style is completely botched. Even the Sea Devils' mouths don't move properly, despite the greatly augmented budget when compared to 1972 and 1984. This is an example of TV with absolutely nothing of value to remark upon. After having given it a miss for ages, I'd forgotten how f.ucking stupid this programme is. As awful as Cyberwoman is, watching and reviewing it at the time was at least entertaining. This was like watching obscured paint dry, albeit with the paint animated and rendered obnoxiously hyperactive. Absolutely dire. |
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Post by RobFilth on Apr 20, 2022 20:55:07 GMT
So you liked it then?
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Post by Bernard Marx on Apr 20, 2022 21:07:55 GMT
Other than everything I spent six paragraphs talking about, I loved it.  |
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Post by RobFilth on Apr 20, 2022 21:09:51 GMT
Other than everything I spent six paragraphs talking about, I loved it. Hey, at least Chinballs didn't give the Sea Devils tits and removeable plastic face masks. I guess that's a plus point, right? |
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Post by Bernard Marx on Apr 20, 2022 21:11:57 GMT
Other than everything I spent six paragraphs talking about, I loved it.  Hey, at least Chinballs didn't give the Sea Devils tits and removeable plastic face masks. I guess that's a plus point, right? Don't give him any ideas- he could well edit that into Jodie's finale in post. |
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Post by UncleDeadly on Apr 20, 2022 22:07:45 GMT
I haven't watched it, but I bet it makes even Warriors of the Deep look like a stone cold Classic by comparison. I sat through it last night out of morbid curiosity (Why did I do that even after saying I wouldn't? I'm such a gullible twat), and suffice to say, it does. F.uck me, that was awful. I don't think I've seen a more incompetently put together episode of Doctor Who before. I've certainly seen episodes which were more insulting to the lore, but in terms of unmitigated ineptitude, and given the time and budget, this probably takes the cake. As stated by Zarius already, the direction, editing, pacing, music, sound design- everything on a technical level- is abhorrent. It's practically impossible to make out what actually occurs on a narrative basis given the sheer noise and incoherence, which is frankly staggering for what should be an extremely simple story. The opening sequence seemed to feature Chibnall attempting to tepidly mimic Kurosawa and Japanese Samurai cinema (unless I misread it visually, given how scattered the shots were), which only identifies that he apparently can't distinguish between Pirates and Samurai. The dialogue from the regulars is about as crap as it's ever been, which when accompanied by a truly embarrassing sequence towards the end whereby the Doctor confirms her "affections" for Yaz (with both characters looking distinctly disinterested) results in a headache inducing experience. Not a single performer in this gives a f.uck. It's gurning and colloquial puns galore. The Sea Devils are suddenly Jedi too, and at no point is this ever explored or explained. They have lightsabers, and can seemingly use the force whilst jumping to propel them across long-distances, yet none of this is integrated seamlessly into the narrative. It's vapid window-dressing with no purpose whatsoever- a textbook example of intended style over substance, albeit where even the style is completely botched. Even the Sea Devils' mouths don't move properly, despite the greatly augmented budget when compared to 1972 and 1984. This is an example of TV with absolutely nothing of value to remark upon. After having given it a miss for ages, I'd forgotten how f.ucking stupid this programme is. As awful as Cyberwoman is, watching and reviewing it at the time was at least entertaining. This was like watching obscured paint dry, albeit with the paint animated and rendered obnoxiously hyperactive. Absolutely dire. It's great to have a friend like you to watch this shit for me, Bernard. The reportage is always so much more edifying than the actual disaster....  |
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Post by RobFilth on Apr 20, 2022 22:31:41 GMT
It's great to have a friend like you to watch this shit for me, Bernard. The reportage is always so much more edifying than the actual disaster.... I reckon Bernard took one for the team there. |
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Post by mott1 on Apr 21, 2022 20:23:55 GMT
And Timelash. And Time of the Rani, for that matter. It has a 4.9 now which means that it worse than EVERY classic episode on the site Imagine how low it'll go when the novelty wears off! |
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Post by mott1 on Apr 21, 2022 20:29:48 GMT
It's great to have a friend like you to watch this shit for me, Bernard. The reportage is always so much more edifying than the actual disaster.... I reckon Bernard took one for the team there. Is there a Hive medal we can provide to any member who voluntarily watches a whole Jodie episode? I've not managed it yet... As I once mentioned on the old Hive before the fall-out, the one remarkable thing about the new show is it somehow keeps finding new ways to get worse. This episode sounds like Penguins Of Madagascar - on speed. Call me fussy but that's not how I think Dr Who should be made... |
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Post by Bernard Marx on Apr 21, 2022 20:32:17 GMT
I reckon Bernard took one for the team there. Is there a Hive medal we can provide to any member who voluntarily watches a whole Jodie episode? I've not managed it yet... As I once mentioned on the old Hive before the fall-out, the one remarkable thing about the new show is it somehow keeps finding new ways to get worse. This episode sounds like Penguins Of Madagascar - on speed. Call me fussy but that's not how I think Dr Who should be made... Putting aside the obvious and accurate incongruences you draw with your comparison, I'd argue that Penguins Of Madagascar is on par with an Eisenstein film when compared to this rubbish. It certainly had a touch more wit and coherence. |
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Post by mott1 on Apr 21, 2022 21:41:59 GMT
I haven't watched it, but I bet it makes even Warriors of the Deep look like a stone cold Classic by comparison. I sat through it last night out of morbid curiosity (Why did I do that even after saying I wouldn't? I'm such a gullible twat), and suffice to say, it does. F.uck me, that was awful. I don't think I've seen a more incompetently put together episode of Doctor Who before. I've certainly seen episodes which were more insulting to the lore, but in terms of unmitigated ineptitude, and given the time and budget, this probably takes the cake. As stated by Zarius already, the direction, editing, pacing, music, sound design- everything on a technical level- is abhorrent. It's practically impossible to make out what actually occurs on a narrative basis given the sheer noise and incoherence, which is frankly staggering for what should be an extremely simple story. The opening sequence seemed to feature Chibnall attempting to tepidly mimic Kurosawa and Japanese Samurai cinema (unless I misread it visually, given how scattered the shots were), which only identifies that he apparently can't distinguish between Pirates and Samurai. The dialogue from the regulars is about as crap as it's ever been, which when accompanied by a truly embarrassing sequence towards the end whereby the Doctor confirms her "affections" for Yaz (with both characters looking distinctly disinterested) results in a headache inducing experience. Not a single performer in this gives a f.uck. It's gurning and colloquial puns galore. The Sea Devils are suddenly Jedi too, and at no point is this ever explored or explained. They have lightsabers, and can seemingly use the force whilst jumping to propel them across long-distances, yet none of this is integrated seamlessly into the narrative. It's vapid window-dressing with no purpose whatsoever- a textbook example of intended style over substance, albeit where even the style is completely botched. Even the Sea Devils' mouths don't move properly, despite the greatly augmented budget when compared to 1972 and 1984. This is an example of TV with absolutely nothing of value to remark upon. After having given it a miss for ages, I'd forgotten how f.ucking stupid this programme is. As awful as Cyberwoman is, watching and reviewing it at the time was at least entertaining. This was like watching obscured paint dry, albeit with the paint animated and rendered obnoxiously hyperactive. Absolutely dire. They couldn't even get the bisexuality right, apart from maybe the lighting (out of curiosity I wonder what 'heterosexual lighting' looks like?) Considering that even the squee-ers clearly don't care about 'Yaz-tor', where does that leave the show now? |
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Post by UncleDeadly on Apr 22, 2022 10:44:09 GMT
They couldn't even get the bisexuality right, apart from maybe the lighting (out of curiosity I wonder what 'heterosexual lighting' looks like?) Gay, probably... |
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