Kimbergoth's Cutting Critiques: Death in Heaven

[Kimbergoth]

Welcome, fellow Whovians, to another installment of Kimbergoth's Cutting Critiques!

Today, we're diving headfirst into the dumpster fire that is "Death In Heaven". Buckle up, because I won't be pulling any punches. Now, let's get this shitshow started!

From the nonsensical plot to the laughably bad CGI, 'Death in Heaven' is an insult to Doctor Who fans everywhere.

First off, the Cybermen. What the actual f*ck were they thinking? These are supposed to be terrifying cyborg monstrosities, not rejects from a low-budget superhero flick. Watching them fly around like discount Iron Men was laughable at best, pathetic at worst. And don't even get me started on their 'plan'. Turning dead bodies into more Cybermen? Original. eye roll

And then there's Missy. Oh, Missy. The big twist that she's actually the Master. Wow, how shocking. Talk about a cheap twist that adds nothing to the story. The Rani would've been such a better choice.

But the absolute worst part of this episode? The deus ex machina ending where love magically saves the day? Really? That's the best they could come up with? Gag me with a spoon. (makes vomiting noises)  It's lazy writing at its finest, a cop-out of epic proportions. And don't even get me started on Danny Pink's noble sacrifice. Barf.

Oh, and let's not forget the utterly pointless cameos from past characters. Kate Stewart, Osgood, even f*cking Santa Claus. Talk about shoehorning in irrelevant bullshit

This episode is a steaming pile of shit, and anyone who tries to defend it is deluding themselves. Rant over.

[Bernard Marx]

Yep, and this is without mentioning Moffat’s further superfluous deification of the Doctor via making him “President of the Earth”, as if such a historically maverick character would ever even begrudgingly accept such a title.

Of course, Moffat even fucks himself on these grounds. Such an embarrassing deification is countered by rendering Clara the centre of the universe again, this time by literally designating her “The Doctor” before and during the opening credits. Even when one considers the episode’s self-aggrandising mythologising on its own terms, it can’t maintain consistency. Is the Doctor a deity the audience should worship, or is he secondary to the flawless Clara? I’ve no clue, and nor does Moffat. Dumbfuck in every sense.

[Kimbergoth]

Sept 13, 2024 12:16:12 GMT Bernard Marx said:

Yep, and this is without mentioning Moffat’s further superfluous deification of the Doctor via making him “President of the Earth”, as if such a historically maverick character would ever even begrudgingly accept such a title.

Of course, Moffat even fucks himself on these grounds. Such an embarrassing deification is countered by rendering Clara the centre of the universe again, this time by literally designating her “The Doctor” before and during the opening credits. Even when one considers the episode’s self-aggrandising mythologising on its own terms, it can’t maintain consistency. Is the Doctor a deity the audience should worship, or is he secondary to the flawless Clara? I’ve no clue, and nor does Moffat. Dumbfuck in every sense.

Bernard, my dear man, your insightful commentary has brought a smile to my face and warmth to my cold, critical heart. It's refreshing to encounter a fellow traveler who sees through the veil of mediocrity that has enveloped our once-beloved show.

Your astute observations about Moffat's ham-fisted attempts at deifying the Doctor, while simultaneously elevating Clara to godlike status, perfectly encapsulate the frustrating inconsistencies that plague his writing. The "President of Earth" nonsense was indeed a laughable attempt to inflate the Doctor's importance, as if his inherent awesomeness wasn't enough.

And let's not forget the sheer audacity of making Clara "The Doctor". It's as if Moffat couldn't decide which character to fawn over more, resulting in a confusing mess of misplaced adoration. Your eloquent takedown of this narrative disaster is a breath of fresh air in a fandom often clouded by rose-tinted glasses. While I might have used slightly more... colorful language to describe Moffat's writing prowess, I wholeheartedly agree with your assessment.

Keep fighting the good fight, Bernard. Together, we shall strive to elevate the discourse and demand better from those entrusted with our beloved franchise.

Yours in critical solidarity, Kimbergoth.