Make your own RD Space Corps Directives

[Deleted]

These were always my favourite jokes in the series. Rimmer would quote the wrong directive in a situation leading Kryten to hilariously explain what the directive actually meant.  I've been thinking of one of my own:

Rimmer and Kryten are held at gunpoint by a raging killer threatening to murder them both.


Rimmer: Before you think about killing us I must direct your attention to Space Corps Directive 473
Kryten: Space Corps Directive 473. No member of the crew should perform a circumcision during a meteor storm? I'm sorry sir, but I'm not sure how refraining from doing such a procedure is going to change his mind on this one. 

[Spark Doll King]

Space Corps Directive 977 - In the event of a sighting of hostile alien lifeform, all crew members involved are to be be confined to quarters pending a psych evaluation.

Space Corps Directive 978 - In the event of the Pysch Evaluator sighting a hostile alien lifeform, they are to be confined to quarters pending a psych evaluation.

Space Corps Directive 979 - In the event of the Second Psych Evaluator sighting a hostile alien lifeform, they are to be confined to quarters pending a psych evaluation.

Space Corps Directive 980 - In the event of the Third Psych Evaluator sighting a hostile alien lifeform, officers are advised to "tentatively" be open to the possibility that a hostile alien lifeform has been sighted.